What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 17.06.2025 14:34
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
What is the most peculiar thing about the human brain?
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
Why is our generation so unhappy?
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
Do many women shave their vaginas?
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Was Adam white or black (African)?
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
They are buried together, in the same grave..
Common herbal supplement used to beat stress linked to liver toxicity - Times of India
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
And i lived it daily.
We were not on the streets..
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
How can I stop overthinking and take action more quickly?
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
Was to survive, this bastard.
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I will be 64.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
Would this be the day?
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
Why was Boromir corrupted by the One Ring, but not Faramir in The Lord of the Rings?
Put me off passion for life!!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
So whats the point in blame.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Why did i forgive my father ?
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
My family never makes their pension either.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
So, i spoilt her more .
I could never make a relationship work though!
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Ive learnt so much.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
She wouldn,t have been !
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
I know ,a lot about trauma.
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Comes on , in middle age.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
When she asked me how she looked .
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
She married twice! .
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
Who then, do I blame.?
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
As i do to all so called friends.?
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
She loved him until the end.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
She was in good health!
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
He knew the spot.
He resisted the act ,that day.
It was going to be , some day.
I couldn’t, believe it.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
I waited trembling.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
But it wasn’t much.
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
I think the readers, may guess!
(And it was in our own minds.)
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
But ive been too sick for many years..
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
We all went to grammer schools
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
I said to her
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
I was scared of men, in general
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
Where the ultimate outsiders.
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Im still living with it.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
I write beautiful poetry .
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
All the time i was locked up.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
On the 31st of Jan this month .
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
She found it foreign!.
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
I have no regrets .
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
I don,t even have a pension.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
I was 9 years of age.
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
But, we were locked up after school.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Especially a lifetime of it.
I was seconnd youngest,
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
This is soul school!.
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
What did i know ?
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
One cannot live in the past .
My life is so biszare .
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
I never cut or harmed myself..
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I was very sick at this time too.
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!